Private equity (PE) markets itself as the exclusive playground of the wealthy and well-connected, and the marketing works — institutional and family-office allocations have poured in for two decades. The asset class can deliver returns and access that public markets cannot. But the headline numbers are gross of fees, flattered by self-set valuations, and concentrated in a handful of managers most investors will never reach — and the structure carries real illiquidity, leverage, and a fee model engineered for the people running the fund. Going in needs more than deep pockets: it needs a clear-eyed read of the mechanics, the fees, and who actually captures the returns.